Flamingo and Horse in Barn Scandal

Franny Flamingo and Gunsynd Greyson snapped during drinks at the barn © Gretchen Bernet-Ward 2021

This famous duo looked mighty cosy together when they were snapped in a local barn on Saturday night.  Supposedly both happy in their marriages, renowned sitcom star Franny Flamingo and movie stud Gunsynd Greyson II sat in a quiet corner, endeavouring to hide from prying eyes.

But it was too late for that, the locals were agog, all eyes on the glamour couple.  

SPECIAL FEATURE

Staff reporter L. K. Wombat

Echidna Network News : Monday 22 February 2021 : 1350hrs

As soon as the long-legged bird and the grand stallion entered the wood-panelled room, a hush had fallen.  The rumour mill started to grind.  The celeb twosome were closely watched as they settled themselves on a hay bale and ordered drinks.

It is reported they sipped wine from a galvanised bucket and nibbled on shared apple pieces.  Franny nervously adjusted the jaunty silver bow in her latest hairdo and, by all accounts, Gunsynd had difficulty controlling his swishing tail even though no flies were in evidence. 

Tony Galah, barn manager and family man, was obviously perturbed by his VIP patrons.  It is common knowledge that Gunsynd’s mare is due to foal within the week but this seemed the furthest thing from the superstar’s mind as he tossed his mane at a chirpy comment from Franny.     

A group of hens, on a humans night, noticed that Franny’s trademark pink feathers were swept in a carelessly alluring style but speculation was rife as to whose feathers would be ruffled by this hot encounter.   

As the evening wore on, apparently Gunsynd’s horsey chuckle made quite a few barn patrons go weak at the knees.  His coat gleamed in the candlelight, unhindered by a saddle, and his trademark white blaze shone.  Several people noticed his hooves had a mirror polish rather than his usual in-the-paddock look.  Consensus was he only had eyes for Franny but one Shetland pony was heard to swoon “Oh, if only I had a lead rein right now…”

“Cats and dogs must work together” said Chairman Meow on Nine Lives news

It is hoped that during this intimate rendezvous, the cashed-up couple were discussing their latest venture, a joint movie project featuring mixed animals working together to find a way to stop humans contracting Covid-19.  The pandemic had rendered millions unable to care for their beloved family pets.

With a flap of her wings, Franny had said “The flight, er, plight, of every species nests, er, rests, on the whole entire world working together.  Every chick deserves a clean, healthy place to live.”  A profound statement and perhaps the longest words Franny has cheeped since being told her fourth series would not be renewed this season.  The studio cites budget constraints while producers suggest a “younger, fresher” approach is needed.

Gunsynd, who previously fought and successfully quashed doping allegations, yesterday released a press statement saying the funds from their new movie would go towards human research.  “After all,” he said “they are dependent on nature and animals for their continued survival so it is the least we can do to help them help us.”

A kangaroo waitress, busy bouncing paparazzi, refused to be drawn into conjecture but did let slip “Insects outnumber everyone so they better get them on side.”  Wise words from an animal well versed in tourism, being eaten and featured on the country’s coat-of-arms.

The couple were believed to have left the barn around midnight in separate vehicles, a custom-made cage and a luxury trailer. Next day, Franny was seen frolicking in the water, eating crustaceans and molluscs with her flock, and being criticised for her unchanging wardrobe.  In breaking news, it is believed Gunsynd is in lockdown at his farm hideaway preparing for another big race aptly titled “Save the Humans from Themselves Fundraiser”.

So there you have it, dear reader, a love-tryst destined to put the cat among the pigeons?  Or a meeting of two creatures about to organise a world-wide campaign to save the humans before they do more damage to our shared environment?

You be the judge.

Logged by L. K. Wombat, Esq.

STAFF PROFILE

Lasiorhinus Krefftii Wombat has been a newsreader and journalist for 20 years, give or take time off for digging burrows, and is a celebrated carrot critic for “Veggie News”.  He is reputed to be a friend of famous children’s author Jackie French and is acquainted with the wombats featured in her work.  He knows he’s an endangered species and advocates State protection.

REAL endangered wombat information : https://environment.des.qld.gov.au/wildlife/threatened-species/featured-threatened-species-projects/northern-hairy-nosed-wombat

REAL Gunsynd race horse : https://www.slq.qld.gov.au/blog/gunsynd-goondiwindi-grey

REAL flamingos in Australia : https://thoughtsbecomewords.com/2020/06/27/wild-flamingos-in-australia/

REAL children’s author and wombat person : https://www.jackiefrench.com/

Save the Wombat
Poetry Clipart 12

Typesetter Gretchen Bernet-Ward

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Gunsynd Greyson II courtesy of trainer Dot Bernet.
Franny Flamingo courtesy of PetBarn Australia.

Wild Flamingos in Australia?

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Flamingos swamped by cheesecake topping 2020

Australia was once a continent graced by flamingos.  These tall pink birds are more associated with Africa and the Americas, but a long time ago they called Australia home.  For at least 20 million years, flamingos thrived on vast Australian inland lakes, until a drying of the outback ended their reign, perhaps a million years ago.

The Lake Eyre region in South Australia once had three species, more than Africa today.  Altogether Australia had at least six flamingo species, including the Greater flamingo – the main flamingo in Africa.  Australian museums have accumulated more of their fossils than of some regular Australian birds such as parrots.  At some sites their remains lay near those of outback crocodiles, dolphins and lungfish.

Flamingos are still regarded as Australian birds, for a very tenuous reason.  In 1988 a Greater flamingo dropped in on North Keeling Island, a remote Australian territory 2750km north-west of Perth, staying a couple of months.  Greater flamingos are found in Asia and southern Europe as well as Africa and this one had wandered over from India or Sri Lanka.

In Adelaide Zoo you could have seen the only flamingo left in Australia, a Chilean flamingo known warmly as ‘Chile’.  She was thought to have been imported in the late 1970s.  For quarantine reasons flamingos are now forbidden imports, which means that Australia is destined to become a flamingo-free zone unless another long-legged pink nomad wanders over from Asia.

FlamingoSource Australian Geographic by Tim Low February 6, 2017

More flamingo facts and fabulous photographs:
https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/topics/wildlife/2017/02/australia-was-once-full-of-flamingos/

Gretchen Bernet-Ward