Guide to Dog Behaviour – Sort of
Subtitle: “How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?”
Newspaper source unknown.
In loving memory…
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
Category: General Compilation
A Novel is Not a Screenplay
To assist the modification from page to screen by meeting the market half-way, writers are chasing the more lucrative side of wordsmithing by hammering out books which have the actions, expressions and dialogue of movie characters.
If you are dreaming of seeing your work as a major motion picture, professional screenwriters can adapt existing books, hence the words ‘based on’ when you view a book-to-movie deal.
Read on for my thoughts on the situation…
Good news for the future of the film industry but what about the book industry?
Should a writer write a novel similar to a filmscript? I guess if you are determined enough you can learn, but what are you sacrificing along the way? Formatting is important; not too much, not too little. Your characters will be noticeably shallower, the scenery will be sketchy and the action will be like every TV series you have ever watched.
Bend to a market whim? What makes the difference is being different! With or without a movie contract, if you write in a hybrid format, your novel has less chance of standing amongst the notables of your decade. I’ve read several amalgams in the last month. Believe me, it shows.
In my opinion, there is a market for the TV-ready book/screen blend of writing but it is light-weight and not the same as solid, descriptive, memorable words which feed a book reader’s imagination.
And herein lies the problem. There are eager new readers just the same as in the past, but now they are looking for ‘movie action’ because they have grown up with on-demand screens. Substance is not as favourable, skimming is the name of the game.
Again, I say this is a disservice to the reader as well as the book industry.
It’s a long haul and immediate gain for the primary writer is unlikely. Say a director/producer likes your work, every page you have written means extra money is needed in production and, as we know, the financial aspect rules. Gone are the days of blockbuster world success—think LOTR or J K Rowling’s Harry Potter.
Durability is the name of the game. You can find countless info and advice on writing a screenplay or TV script and if you want to do it you will—bearing in mind that any formula has restrictions, your manuscript will not resemble the finished product.
Look closely at Michael Connelly and other writers who have made the transition, in particular their previous jobs. They will have ‘connections’, they will move house ‘to be closer to their work’, they will have ‘legal advice’, an abundance of ‘good luck’, an ‘understanding family’ and other clichés but not the words ‘smooth sailing’.
Write with your heart, write something strong and original, write a standalone which shines with your own unique qualities.
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
Mother’s Day Stories & Poems Wanted
Exactly what we need in these days of social-distancing!
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
I’m looking for story and poetry submissions for the May issue. A nice way to honour a special person at a time when we might not be able to visit…
Mothers, grandmothers, daughters who have children of their own, special aunts and friends…send them in 🙂
Positive Words magazine
PO Box 798
Heathcote 3523 Victoria
Pineapples and the English Language
This caged pineapple asked me why he was called a pineapple when he was neither a pine nor an apple. I couldn’t answer his question but I did give him a lecture on the idiotic English language and how we take it for granted without knowing why ♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
Read on…
“English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig.
Why do writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?
If you have a pile of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what is it called?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
Or met an sung hero who has experienced requited love?
Have you met someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
Where are those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
The lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down.
Fill in a form by filling it out, while an alarm goes off by going on.”
Written by Anonymous
Poetry Soup
https://www.poetrysoup.com/famous/quote/27538_english_is_a_crazy_language_there
English is the most widely spoken language in the world.
No language in history has dominated quite like it.
English has adapted many different words to suit itself.
Could this be why English is one of the hardest languages to learn?
The Guardian newspaper explains—
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jul/27/english-language-global-dominance
Moths Stopped Me in My Tracks
Suburban shopping centre covered in moths after drought-breaking rains. Warm humid conditions released flora, fauna and insects which burst forth in a delayed exhibition of springtime in Brisbane.
My apologies if you have ‘Mottephobia’.
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
INFORMATION : This activity is unusual. Could these small arthropod insects with feelers, six legs and one pair of wings be a Dry Leaf Looper Moth? More at home in leaf-litter under trees? The images shown on the website (below) are similar moths to the ones I have photographed and were found in the Brisbane area, Queensland, Australia.
http://www.brisbaneinsects.com/brisbane_loopers/DryLeaf.htm
Dry Leaf Looper Moth – Idiodes siculoides – Subfamily Ennominae? – Family Geometridae
Are You For Real!
With thanks to Maud Fitch for her permission to post.
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
Stilt Walkers – Fact and Fantasy
If you’ve ever been to the circus or a street parade, you will have seen someone walking along high above the crowd on a pair of stilts. To the average person, stilt-walking is the mainstay of theatrical performers, clowns and jugglers and used to great effect in fantasy film and stage productions.
However, stilts (originally wooden) have been used in many industries for many hundreds of years, from ancient shepherding to wall painting, fruit-picking and hedge-trimming to modern construction.
Several websites have histories of the original stilt-walkers, but in the old days if you found yourself living in a flood plain, beside the beach, in marshland or some other area where the ground was less than steadfast, it was a great way to keep safe.
Raised above it all, striding through the landscape with a birds’ eye view, it’s easy to see how they became part of certain countries folklore and historical identity.
I remember as a child, turning round to see the silk-clad legs of a stilt-walker and being quite amazed as I slowly raised my eyes to the performer, a real person no less, teetering high above me.
- Apparently ‘Walk on Stilts Day’ is celebrated on 27 July every year
- In 2008 Roy Maloy of Australia took five steps on stilts 17m (56ft) high
- In 1891 Sylvain Dornon stilt-walked from Paris to Moscow in 58 days
- The Golden Stilt is the highest honour in the ancient sport of stilt-jousting
- European stilt-walking festivals are held in Spain, Netherlands and Belgium
- Canadian ‘Cirque du Soleil’ feature a dazzling array of stilt-walkers
- Moko Jumbie is spirit healer stilt-dancing from West Indies
- A centuries-old tradition, Chinese stilt-walkers bring good luck
- Modern stilt performances by gorgeous Leonie Deavin troupe
- Stilts can be ordered online – go for it!
Stilt-walking is corporate business now, far, far removed from those sodden sheep in the marshes, guarded by a lone farmer on stilts with only his trusty sheep dog and knitting to keep him company. Knitting was not gender specific in olden times; hardy men perched atop a pair of wooden stilts could knit a woolly vest while keeping a wary eye out for hungry wolves.
So forget those hole-punched tin cans and pieces of string you manoeuvred to clump up and down the driveway like a robot, stilts have entered the 21st century.
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
More information and fascinating photographs:
http://homunculustheatre.com.au/roving_acts/manoeuvre-stilt-performers/
https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/12/05/stilt-walkers/
http://www.leoniedeavin.com.au/profile.php
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilts
https://stiltfactory.com/
DarkOz Comic Book Manifesto
Late last year at Brisbane GenreCon, I said hello to Darren Koziol, mastermind behind Australian comic books DarkOz. His display table was beside ours and I was lured over by the bright yet disturbing cover of the Retro Sci-Fi Tales Christmas Special #1 December 2019. I purchased a copy and three quirky Christmas cards were thrown into the deal.
After chatting to Darren and learning about his creative skills and the help he gives budding comic book creators, I expressed interest in ‘The Comic Book Manifesto: Making Comic Books In Australia’.
Even coming from a non-comic book person like me, I feel this booklet gets to the essence of creating artwork and design and offers inspiration for those interested in furthering their artistic abilities.
It’s a small volume which packs a punch; under the heading Influences & Individuality, Mike Speakman says ‘Seek out advice from your peers, listen to it all, but remember to put your own spin on things.’
It was a week before I managed to fully read my copy of this idiosyncratic Christmas Special but I loved the tall tales and clever retro illustrations. Inside, two wacky characters Bruno and Maggie feature in three comics—the one I particularly liked was ‘Space Elevator’. Original, creepy, humorous with a twist in the alien tale. Being retro, the slant was towards American-style comics but I was pleased to see ‘Great Australian Bight Bite’, short, sweet, deadly.
When I was a kid, the exaggerated reactions and cryptic comments from characters in comic books never really appealed. Like most people, I seem to remember Lee Falk’s ‘The Phantom’ in our daily newspaper alongside the funnies but I think for over ten years Charles Schulz and ‘Peanuts’ blitzed all else for me. Now I have greater respect for the patience, skill and hard work involved in comic book production.
Comic books have come a long way! Or have they? Happily the tradition lives on.
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
INFORMATION
Darren Koziol, Editor/Director/Writer/Space Explorer
https://www.darkoz.com.au/
https://www.darkoz.com.au/Retro.html
Bushfire Prayer for Australia
Bushfire devastation across rural Australia, everything and everyone is at risk, rain is desperately needed, it will arrive too late for many, let’s pray many thousands will be spared the burning embers ♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
[PLEASE NOTE: ChildFund Australia has posted a link to the ABCTV website with a list of charities for appeal donations. ABCTV list https://about.abc.net.au/appeals/ Get behind the genuine charities which are supporting our bushfire affected communities]
Book Perfect – Virago
Virago is an international publisher of books by women for all readers, everywhere. Established in 1973, their mission has been to champion women’s voices and bring them to the widest possible readership around the world. They found me! From fiction and politics to history and classic children’s stories, their writers continue to win acclaim, break new ground and enrich the lives of readers. That’s me! Read on…
My Goodreads Book Review
Superb anthology of the last forty years of Virago Modern Classics with a gorgeous bookcover illustration. Great for readers who appreciate women writers and also for students studying literature. Each contemporary author writes a sincere and thoughtful introduction from their own perspective as a reader. They cover the classics, from fiction and comedy to famous diaries and autobiographies. For example, Margaret Drabble discusses Jane Austen ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and further on Jilly Cooper talks about E. M. Delafield ‘The Diary of a Provincial Lady’. Although I’ve not read ‘Strangers on a Train’ by Patricia Highsmith, I think Claire Messud has convinced me to read it. At the end of Amanda Craig’s introduction on Rebecca West ‘The Fountain Overflows’ she says ‘The novel is one of those rare books that leaves the reader feeling happier and more hopeful than before.” And that’s exactly what this Virago Modern Classics makes me feel ♥ https://www.goodreads.com/gretchenbernetward
Virago celebrated their fortieth anniversary of Virago Modern Classics, Virago Press published the book I so eagerly purchased ‘Writers as Readers’, an anthology of forty introductions from the last four decades…books that deserve once again to be read and loved. Virago also reintroduced the iconic green spines across their whole booklist.
Virago has a huge booklist, I’m sure you’ve read several of their titles, and rather than me listing every book available, you can visit their beautiful website:
https://www.virago.co.uk/
♥ Gretchen Bernet-Ward
Thoughts Become Words 